Showing posts with label trusting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trusting. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

If I could tell a new homeschool mum one thing.....


If I could tell a new homeschool mum one thing, it would be… to give it ( whatever it is) Time.
Time. The biggest secret in homeschooling/unschooling.
Time for a child to mature, so that the boy who hates writing at age six
(“why do I have to do this”) is just given time to mature, no pressure to write, just sharing books together until one day he finds his voice and writes and blogs.
Time for the shared experiences to be shared, to shape the child, to allow him to explore, think, play, be a child…so that he chooses, as a teen, to study ancient languages at a university winter school and needs no nagging about homework. He has had time to find out what he likes and how he learns.
Time to spend with family and friends, exploring persona (today it’s Batman, tomorrow it is a Roman soldier), learning how to interact with others, to control temper, to think of others, to learn about self.
Time to read and read together without school schedules and have-tos.
Time for that stubborn toddler to grow into a self disciplined, determined young man. Time for that  very sensitive child to grow into a young man who thinks deeply and spiritually.
Time to cook, to do crafts, to play games, to climb trees, to visit and re-visit museums and libraries, to learn.
And time for mum to realise that things that seem major and  crisis making and overwhelming now will pass.
Time has been my homeschooling secret. Regardless of circumstances and living situations, I have learned to give myself and my kids time.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sharing with family

A question that often gets asked on our Unschooling Catholics email list is...what do I tell grandparents? Cousins? Relatives? How do I explain this to my parish priest when Father asks? What do we share about unschooling at family gatherings, especially if everyone seems a bit anti?


I have found that the best approach is just to share all the marvellous things we do...and then gradually ask questions about the other's life and the topic is safely steered. If someone is particularly interested, I will share our learning is life, life is learning approach.


Ultimately, I think the proof is in the pudding.


In the meantime, Julie from Bravewriter has shared  tips in her post on /When they don't get it ....


Sunday, November 6, 2011

I wish unschooling for everyone...

A re-post...but friends asked me to share...so here goes!

We recently had a discussion on our Unschooling Catholics email list...on that ubiquitious statement, oh so familiar to all homeschoolers with an unschooling bent...Unschooling sounds great but *I* could never do it.


Maybe the speaker couldn't. Or shouldn't.


Or maybe they should and could...if they are willing to step out of their box.


I'm on my seventh teenage unschooler here.. And my thought and experience is that unschooling works with relationship and time.

Time because a child who does not pick up a book at age eight can become a a teen studying liberal arts at university and reading and enjoying philosophy and theology... And yes, I am describing one of my sons! I would strew books that he would never pick up unless they were non fiction full-of-pictures DK and Usborne books. However, we kept reading aloud and listening to books on CD and watching movie versions of books and letting him follow his interests... Which when he was young was all about the outdoors and activity. So I think Unschooling works best over time. 
Time because it takes awhile for "no strings attached" strewing to take... By no strings I mean that I really don't mind if no one takes up my strewing but instead strews their own stuff. And with expectations off, my sons have been more likely to explore new ideas and activities and books.

Relationship because that has been the way Unschooling works in our house. It has enhanced our relationships because we spent time together not doing school but reading aloud, watching movies, drawing, cooking, going to parks and outings and talking. It's this quantity time that is sometimes missing when mums and kids are rushing to do school and then to homeschool activities. And yet this quantity time has been the biggest aid to our learning... so one son, who used to make a big fuss about any sort of formal work when young is the one who is now  at university, writing essays and talking to me about chastity and celibacy and how he doesn't think celibacy would be so hard as your mind, his mind, is on other things.. At the moment Cicero. (!) Now, he was the one who you could have said would not be a poster child for Unschooling, would spend oodles of time on computer games and make a big fuss about chores and really did spend a year or two around age sixteen or so just playing games and hanging out ( and doing chores and serving at mass and helping in the parish). 

Or let me give an example of another son ( did I mention I have seven sons...thus many examples!) who was also a non writer and often a non reader. But who grew, however,  into reading Shakespeare as a teen, who has a degree and now works  in politics, works hard, long hours and yet still finds time to go to mass or confession on weekdays as well. 

Are they perfect? No.


Were they the perfect poster unschooler kids? No.


Were we the perfect unschooler poster family? No, not with our problems, financial problems, moving many many times, mum's health problems and miscarriages, unemployment, extended family crises, months where we did nothing but chores and watch movies and read and cook and eat. And I went through stages of let's try this (  CM or classical or curriculum) but we always came  back to just living and learning.

Where am I going with this?


That I would wish Unschooling for everyone.


That blossoming of self and interests and relationships.


Unschooling tweaked to suit each family but Unschooling where the child and family are more important than is he reading, is he doing maths, can he meet these outcomes? Ad infinitum.


 In my experience, the unschooled children can meet outcomes, over time, with a good relationship ( "darling , for uni you will need more maths and writing so how about we try x and y... "...Easily suggested and more likely to be taken up when relationship in place) and with tweaking to suit each child and family. 

Unschooling has brought me to my knees, to my Faith, to the sacraments , many many times... Heck, I became a Catholic! Me! It's that trust in Our Lord, in the Holy Spirit's workings in my life and in the life of my kids, in the graces of the sacraments. 

So my answer to is Unschooling for everyone is.. It's up to the parent!


Are you prepared to read more, pray more, live with your kids, daily give more of yourself, move out of your comfort zone, educate yourself, give it a good long try, no strings attached!?


For Unschooling requires effort as the vocation of mothering requires effort .. Effort and prayer... It's just that the effort is spent in time with the child and family and not with curriculum and programmes. 

And the rewards are manifold.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Unschooling and Special Needs

The question arose at our Unschooling Catholics email list...what about unschooling, child centered and interest centered, relaxed Homeschooling...what about unschooling children with special needs.

"One of the reasons I quit the path of cookie-cutter help was because I got to watch my (unschooler) friend's son, a boy much like my own, blossom in her care. With every difficulty or difference he presented, whether it was speech differences, sensory difficulties, or behavior issues, she arranged life to fit his needs. She also approached all this with a solid faith in him that he was the way he was supposed to be, and that he was on his own schedule. She sought appropriate help when needed, but it was out of a "what are his true needs" space."

From Sandra Dodd's unschooling website.

"If in school, 6 would not be able to sit for very long without making himself "known." He would not be able to sit still and play nice for the 6-7 hours that would be required of him. He would probably be diagnosed with ADHD and on meds, if I allowed that. He is not ADHD, but I have heard how this has happened many times from other homeschoolers with children who are not really and truly ADHD. 6 can add triple digit numbers in his head-as long as he can spin and move about the room and dispense his energy when he needs, he is just fine!"

From Life Without School Community blog.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Thank You

The other day I was riding in the car with my sons, 17 and 21. We have homeschooled for 15 years, easing into unschooling about 7 years ago.

We were talking about what we were up to lately, how we were managing our time and how to generally get done what we need to and also have time for life.

I shared with them about how I had to really make a decision all those years ago, to let go of curriculum and what the homeschool world was telling me to do and follow my heart, let them follow their interests and enjoy their childhood.

One son immediately, as if not even thinking or guarding his words, said "Thank you!" It was so spontanious, I knew it was from his heart. I started back and he said, "No mom, if you had not let me have that time I would not know what I loved to do and now I do. Thank you."

That made me smile and this is meant to encourage others who may be there.. not sure how much to let go and whether to trust their children. Trust- pay attention to their responses.. but TRUST.

Cindy